Category: Being Married

Podcast: Cruel Intentions – Can one bad day change a man for the worse?

Can one bad day change a man for the worse? Hugo thinks on this as he takes stock of these last few days and how they contrast with films like The Joker which he has recently seen. Also Hugo shares a strategy for balancing out negative thoughts.
Today on the Show:
The Shinning – Intro Music
Batman: The Killing Joke by Alan Moore & Brian Bolland
Preview: The Joker (2019) https://youtu.be/rgXplohCw5o
Subscribe to the Podcast or you can find Hugo on Twitter at @hugosposts on Insta at @hugotorres or his blog at sangabrielvalley.blogspot.com

Knowing Glances and Off to Bed

I saw her eyes and knew. 
Our little ones were still wide awake and nowhere near sleepy so a quick choice had to be made. It was a no brainer as I beckoned her into our bedroom. She had to take a moment to ready herself and so I took her bathroom break as an opportunity to peel bed sheets away and get the nest ready. When she opened the door to greet me I read her signals and didn

Money Talk

I knew what they were doing when they went into their bedrooms. My sister’s guessed but didn’t catch on until much later. 
I didn’t listen in but I awaited with baited breath and watched for minutes on end for the moment they were done and the door knob began to move. My parents always discussed money matters behind closed doors. If the van broke down, if all three kids needed school clothes, if the dog was ill, if dad wanted to buy a 6-Disc CD changer, if a holiday bonus check was light, if the rent was being increased or if my dad lost his wallet again…my parents would retreat into a closed session in their bedroom to deliberate. 
Sometimes loudly. 
All I could do was wait to hear their answer to the problem which usually would mean taking something fun away from my kid-sisters and I. My wife and I manage money different and there are very few secrets when it comes to funds at Casa Torres. I wonder then what the Ramblers think on the occasion when our bedroom door is closed.

What will I miss

The retirement strategist shared with all the small business owners this morning some helpful data about days-sans-work and planning for them. 
He lost me for a moment I’ll admit. 
When he mentioned the statistical gap that says that it is likely that I will die several years before my partner does my mind began to wonder of what I’ll miss. One day her hands will turn really wrinkly and I may not get to massage them. Will it turn out that like my father I’ll miss hearing the coos of my first grandchild? It’ll be a shame not to unleash my inner curmudgeon at the Thanksgiving table and then take a nap right after. Then one day it could be that I’ll be just a picture on the wall and some people may tell tall fond tales of the handsome young guy I used to be. 
I snapped back to real time just as the presentation ended. I’m thinking about this stuff a lot late. Could it be it’s because my 30s are coming to an end this year?

Like that Old Time Rock and Roll

We found each other having a moment in the evening that belonged to us. 
The kids had been summoned to their beds and the HBO queue played an episode of Girls. At one point Oasis’ Wonderwall played in the soundtrack and my bride and I reminisced about the Cornell death and all the young talent recently passed on. Just about the point when the song sound swelled loudest my oldest manifested from the shadows. Our loud rock and/or roll music was keeping him up and he did not much appreciate it. 
Once scolded we turn the music down and apologized. Soon after he hit the hay we realized we were the adults in the house.

Buyers Remorse

It would take my father a good long while to bring it up. I could see the strain and just before he did it his shoulders would tense, the vein at his forehead engorged and he pumped his fists to gather up muster. Sometimes he was sweet and gentle. Sometimes demanding and callous. Most of the time he was wily in his pleads and he was certainly not always successful. 
That’s what it took sometimes for my mom to open up the purse strings if the purchase was over $100. I suppose that’s why I always think twice and compare to Casa Torres’ CFO before splurging on the latest tech.

Let there be Lights

Every year at Casa Torres there is one tradition I least forward to.

That is putting up the Christmas lights about the house. I typically fine them as a tangled web which takes time to unwind and check. Then I’ll most awkwardly move about confined spaces with a bulky latter to reach the heights necessary to drape them. From start to finish the process is dusty, frustrating and tiring.

But Nic and the kids love their holiday lights. Who am I to deny them?

Besides, when they do come on line I’ll admit they pull me in closer to the Season’s spirit and that’s not bad.

Lack of Silence

I remember the night when we marked the sign that told us if we should call it quits. We were at The Stinking Rose on La Cienega having dinner and across our booth we saw a somewhat-40 couple having a too quiet dinner. They hardly shared a glance and there was almost no chit-chat.
We agreed then that if we became like them then it was time to rethink things.

Years later the two of us were blabbing to each other at the Pho spot in Monrovia and for a moment I stopped and thought…hey we’re still ok!