Sleepless in Monrovia

I find myself barely holding on after a very long night of struggle. Cold and frustrated I realize that I am solely responsible for the choices I made yesterday. I hope this confession serves as warning to others and as I think of my wife now sleeping on the couch I hope to have learned my lesson. But I’ve done this before and since past is prologue I fear this may happen again.
The YouTube is full of scary videos about Chupacabras, Big Feet, ghosts in photos, Jersey Devils, Slender Men, Dutch peole and more. Watching these creepy-pastas with the kids is a sure way to have a rebellion based on fears at bed time. We acquiesced and let them sleep in hours. Trying to share space with two kids and two dogs is no fun and I spent most the night moderating groggy disagreements over imaginary borders, shifting confused mutts about and seeing my wedge of the bed shrink and shrink and shrink.

I’d carp more but only have myself to blame.

In Ma Room

Sometimes I wedge myself in my bedroom where the keyboard lies. I stare at the screen, I ponder, I sip coffee and on occasion I clank at buttons and letter appear on the screen.

I wonder if my children will come to understand why I took time to do this. At lesser minutes I attempt to forecast if the value of what I have written will be worth the time I could have spent with them.

It make sense for me not to carp but continue stealing moments to press the letters and form the sentences. I know not what else to do.

To Every Season

Talking to some folk today someone mentioned looking forward to the holiday Season being almost over. 
It made me remember that just a few weeks ago when so many of us said that about the election. Or before that when we sighed about the day after days of  wild-fires. Then there is always the Award season we want to get past. Or the school-year in those last few weeks…and the Summer break when it’s so darn hot out and the kids have had it. The weeks before we have to turn in taxes ain’t no picnic. I think I’ll start enjoying and challenging myself during the times that are and stop always pining for their end. 
Except bikini Season…that’s serious business yo!

Carrie Fisher

In real life I fell in love with a woman who is feisty, tells it to me straight and is incredibly sexy. There are countless reason why she’s the perfect fit for me but I recognize that she does fit into a template that was cast by a woman we lost today.

Carrie Fisher.

In later years, the young woman who chose me has changed in a variety of ways. She has encountered challenges and she has bested them. Sometimes with my aid and many times without. In spite of this on going metamorphosis at the core she is still so very strong and a force of nature I get to spend time with.

In the last couple of years I learned from Carrie’s stories that she had to overcome many self imposed demons and some events that would shake us all to the core. In her one woman performance “Wishful Drinking” she laid out the challenges that even the royalty of Hollywood must endure. She shared her stories with a smile and seemed at peace with her station in life.

She enjoyed the same sense of self that my wife too embodies at times.

I am grateful for being the hero woman that she was. On and off the screen.

May the Force be with her…Always!

Death and Setbacks

Yes of course I mourn all the well-known folks that left our human tribe this year. 
Then I thought of the friends this year who fought a cancer or illness and found the strength to abate them. Or those who lost love by a passing or the disrespect to vows made and still managed to muster a smile towards me. Reminded of those whose dream business or idea got caught in the undertow of conditions out of their control but who showed me that their enthusiasm is boundless. 
Death & setbacks are not wanted parts in life but the human spirit is resilient.


Some time ago I took the tip of a pen and over several minutes removed all this “gunk” that had collected into the grooves of my dad’s heavy police ring with the blue stone a top. After I cleaned it I took it over to my papa and showed off my proud work. 
I thought he’d be happy. 
He groaned heavily when he saw it but instead of admonishing me he took the time to tell me that the stuff I had removed was there to highlight the patters in the gold plus the jewel. That a patina and all the little nicks and scratches on the pieces was something to be proud off because it meant you and your ring had seen some adventure. He then put away the ring and since then I watched it from afar. 
Then one day I got one of my own and while I put it on this morning I noticed many several imperfections on it and then on me.

Mortgaged Grinch – A Poem

All the bankers & granters loved sending bills out a whole lot
But the Hugo of Hugoville most certainly did not!
He hated all the envelopes specially at near Christmas Season!
Be sure to not ask why cause y’all know the reason.
Every turn at his ledger a reminder of how the budget was tight
so every turn to the mail box often kept him up all night.
The bills they kept coming from far, from the front and the side
They came from the company that used to be Countrywide.
The bill for Insurance
The bill from the Mechanic
The bill from the Doctor
who’d warn us not to panic.
The bill for the REALTOR dues
The bill from the house lights
The bill from the Optometrist
for the kid with questionable eye sights.
The bill for the house Taxes
The bill for iTunes
The bill from FarmFreshtoYou
they delivered us prunes.
The bill for the dogs
well actually their vet
The bill for the Violin rental
the boy hasn’t touched yet.
Bill from all places
they sent them in kind.
Even Victoria’s Secret
Though that I don’t mind.
So the kids may forgo some holiday squeals
cause we may have to forgo gifting them fancy wheels.
No floofloovers, no tartookas.
No whohoopers. No gardookas.
No trumtookas. No slooslunkas.
No blumbloopas. No whowonkas.
But don’t you despair, don’t sad-smiley face, don’t plead
The Hugo of Hugoville is quite smart indeed.
He may not like bill notes this time of year
but reserves are a plenty so we’re in the clear.
This holiday is much grand it always out-stands me
Next Torres Christmas may be brought to you by GoFundMe
So welcome Christmas may it bring you much cheer,

Merriment to you all the far and the near.

Make a Wish

As I half-patiently waited at my front door for my youngest to gather up her school stuffs my oldest started to make his way up the street.  
He seemed so resolute as he walked past the threshold of our property and towards the foggy foothills to the north. My first instinct as always was to tell him to wait but his stride told me that he was okay to go and so I watched him. My youngest took longer then usual but finally she darted out and as started to catch up to my boy up ahead I saw him kneel at a neightbour’s yard and pick up a dandelion or two. He was making wishes. 
Hopes that I didn’t feel i needed to inquire about or perhaps I was making my own wish and that’s that he would stay young like this just a little more longer.

Cock of the Walk

Woke up late again today because I could. 
After a generous helping of sausage and coffee I decided to step outside and enjoy the morning while the kids & their friends finished the rest of the Scooby Doo movie. My girls rushed at the first sound of my footsteps and in an instant I had them surrounding me and my warm mug. I greeted each one with love and they chirped right back at me. I felt rather cocky as they seem to make a fuss about me. 
That was until until the Road Island Red hen started pecking at my back while I sat and that reminded me that they needed more treats, their coops needs some repair before the rain and it wouldn’t be a bad idea if I went shopping for more feed. 
Somehow now I have more chores to do and I’m afraid to walk into my home. I may find more to-do assignments therein.