When I was much younger but not yet 20 I wondered about my death often.
It came about when I would hear my parents fight viciously behind closed doors. A desire for it happened when I discovered that my first love had cheated and had no need for me. As other high school kids began to receive their college admission letters and I was left without a pull towards the end also came. Though all these moments’ discomfort was temporary..in those minutes the saddest of thoughts seemed too overwhelming.
Over the last 20 years I have come to respect life and yearn for it. I wish the man I am now could have reached out to the teen I was then and tell him that things do get better. Time machines do not exist alas but I hope to be a pillar of aid to my children when those angst ridden and hormonal days soon come.